Sometimes it sucks to be me....

Pity Party for one... Your table is ready....

Ok, it's been a really crappy day. So, please forgive me as I indulge in a few moments of a pity party. Sometimes it just sucks to be me. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. And though I'd change a few things about it, I'm happy with it as a whole.

And what is the reason for me to be so maudlin today you might ask? Well...it's Valentine's day, there was another pot luck lunch at work, it's snowing again, and while I'm feeling much better than yesterday, I still don't feel well. Oh the horror! Who knows, maybe I'm just hormonal. None of those events that I just listed could cause the end of the world.

It's just that once again, I don't have a Valentine's Day sweetie. Which of course is my own fault. I just haven't met the right guy yet. I could be dating someone, but chose not to because I didn't see him as a potential boyfriend as much as I saw him as a boy who is my friend. It was harder than I thought it would be to sit there and watch as most of my co-workers had flowers or treats delivered to them at work today. Knowing all the while that if I wanted something like that, I was going to have to buy it for myself. (And then again knowing that I'd most likely wait until the day after Valentine's Day when everything goes on sale.)

Then there was the stupid potluck. As I've posted before, I have several food allergies and have to be careful of everything that I might even consider eating. Usually at potlucks I am forced to bring something for everyone else to enjoy and also my own lunch that I know won't kill me. Thankfully, my co-workers understand my situation and try to bring at least one thing that I can eat. So while everyone was enjoying their bbq meatballs, pizza, chicken casserole, and cheesy potatoes with cupcakes, chocolates, and brownies for dessert, I sat there eating broccoli salad, a few grapes, orange slices, and a few deviled eggs. I'm so sick of my "special needs" diet. I'd almost kill for a piece of bread that's not so dense it could be used as a door stop. And soy nut butter doesn't come close to real peanut butter or carob isn't like real chocolate. It's been 10 years since I've really enjoyed eating anything.

It's snowing again! We're supposed to get 2-4 more inches tonight with more coming on the weekend. I'm petrified of driving on snow and ice! So, each commute brings teeth grinding, white knucled, migraine inducing stress. I know how I'm going to respond and how my car is going to respond on the roads, but the fact that I don't trust anyone else on the road terrifies me. Then there's the fact that once again, I'm going to have to dig my car out. I didn't put my windsheild cover on after I got home today because I was just ready for the day to be over and now I'm going to have to deal with an icy snow covered window at the crack o dawn tomorrow morning and its all my fault. And to make it all the more fun, one of my windshield wipers got broken this winter and scrapes like fingernails on a chalk board each time I turn them on and only clears half of the windshield. (Screech... screech...)

And finally, I feel like crap again. As I said before, I'm feeling much better than yesterday. But sick to death of being sick. Or knowing that if I screw up somehow and get something that I'm allergic to that I'm going to be miserable. If you haven't read before, I have Celiac Disease. (The same thing former NHL player/current broadcaster Mickey Redmond has and Joe C. who toured with Kid Rock died from.) It's like having a "sword of Damocles" over your head at all times. One screw up and you suffer. A damned if you do and damned if you don't situation. But honestly, since I've been diagnosed and on the gluten free diet; I've never been healthier. It's just the constant living in fear that you might get something with gluten in it that wears on you. Then I feel guilty because other than being inconvienenced with having a special diet to follow, I'm not dying. There are others who are far worse off than I am.

Like I said before, none of the things I just wrote about is really that life threatening. It's just that they all happened on the same day and they all happened to me. And like I always say, the world doesn't stop just because I'm having a bad day. I'll eventually find something good about today. (Right now it's looking like the good thing for today is that tomorrow is Friday.) I'll go do my exercises, take a relaxing candle lit bubble bath and reflect that while it does sometimes suck to be me, I wouldn't trade my life for anything else. I have a family who loves me unconditionally, good friends, and a good job. Tomorrow is another day that is filled with new and exciting possibilities. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll meet my prince charming; or win a trip to Club Med....

Thanks for being a shoulder to cry on. Happy Valentine's Day!

-Reffie

Valentine's day!!!

I got my valentine's day gift a little early this year. It came courtesy of my co-workers. And to be honest, I'm not really happy about it. What is it you may ask? Roses... No, Candy... No, Jewelry.. Nope! My gift was the stomach flu.

It started last night with chills and nausea and progressivly got worse as today went on. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to tolerate solid food again. Let me just say Tums are your friends! I took a half day off of work to try to sleep it off and am feeling much better at the moment. Hopefully this is only a 24 hour bug and by tomorrow I'll be back to normal.

I dont have any particular valentines day plans this year. Since I'm currently single, there will be no romantic date or anything like that. If I'm feeling alot better and over this flu bug then I might go out some where. (I'm invited to a party with some of my co-workers.) But if I'm still feeling puny, then I'll most likely indulge in a bubble bath and then call it a night.

I'm really not a complicated valentine's date. I'm allergic to chocolate, some flowers, and nickel (metal found in jewelry) so that eliminates most the traditional valentine's day gifts. I'd be happy with a card, a nice dinner, and a movie. (Snuggling on the couch while watching videos would work too..)

Well gang, I'm going to attempt to exercise, send a few emails, and then call it a night. I hope you all have a happy valentines day! Kiss someone for me...

Random Rambling on a Monday...

When you're beyond the point of exhaustion, its not uncommon for ones brain to wander. Today was one such day for me. I didn't get much sleep this last weekend and it took all 4 alarm clocks to get my rear out of bed this morning. So, please forgive me if this blog is more rambling than usual.

I managed not to drown myself in the shower, pick out matching clothes, and make it to work on time this morning. No a small task considering the early morning traffic. Since I leave for work at the crack o' dawn there isnt usually too many other cars out there on the road. But for some odd reason, the few cars that are out there must pull out in front of me (even though there's no one behind me for at least 6 miles) and then procede to go at least 10 miles under the speed limit. I swear that the same guy cut me off 3 times this morning and I only live 2 miles away from where I work.

Once at work, I proceded to follow my "work routine." Open the department, deal with the orders on the printer, and so on and so forth. Part of said routine is for me to go pick up the stats and dictation from other departments at the hospital. This particular morning, I noticed several large bouquets of flowers gracing the main lobby and one in the cafeteria. These arrangements must have cost a pretty penny. What struck me as odd, was that they were obviously donated from various local funerals. I don't know about you, but I think its creepy to have funeral flowers at a hospital. But heck, we do recycle....

I usually eat at least 2 meals a day (breakfast and lunch) while at work. I can't eat at 4:30-5:00 AM when I get up and am getting ready for work. So, I'll grab breakfast around 7:30. An omelet, the yogurt bar, or even fresh fruit are my usual selections. After breakfast, I'll take my daily vitamin and other supplements. (Not pretty when taken on an empty stomach, trust me!) This particular morning I noticed that together the pills had 80 calories. I was agast! Those calories should be "Freebies" and not count in ones daily calorie count. Especially when you're on a diet and all the calories you can get count. 80 calories is like a weight watchers chocolate snack cake... Think about it... if given the choice... what would you choose? A vitamin and dietary suppliments or chocolate cake.... Hummm...That's a toughie!

I'm sure that many of you who are reading this expect me to comment about the referee's from Sunday's Wings game. And normally I'd oblige with a tirade about how moronic they are and how they must have been dropped on their heads as children. But, I reasoned today that their preformance speaks for itself. You don't need me to point out how with their actions and egos cost a team a legitimate goal. You also dont need me to point out that they don't have to worry about their on the job preformance due to fact that there is no accountability in the NHL on ice officials world. The simple fact that the director of officiating resigned due to taking monies from referees in exchange for "choice" games speaks for itself. Though, I still might indulge in a few thoughts of them perishing in a firey car crash. As my mother says... "They know in their hearts what they did.." Well, so do the rest of us fans. And we also will remember when it comes time to spend our hard earned $. We know that the Gary Bettman is turning the NHL into the laughing stock of the sports world.

Well gang, I'm off to exercise and to go sleep. I'll talk at ya'll later. Sweet Dreams all!

-Joelle "reffie"