Easy come, easy go....

Yesterday was a really really bad day for me. I lost my wallet. Not the one with all my id, credit card, or other pertinent info. But my little black change purse. The one with all my money in it. Not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but it rocked my little world. You see, I'm very anal about my purse and it's contents. I always always double... triple check to make sure that I have everything. Wallet... check, checkbook... check, tom tom... check, phone... check, and so on an so forth. So, of course there's the feeling of catastrophe when something goes missing.

I had gone to a store because one of my favorite authors had a new book coming out. The newest one of a series. While they didn't have the book I wanted, They were having some pretty nice sales. So, I picked out a few items and went to check out. I grabbed my change purse and noticed that I didn't have quite enough cash to get everything, so I (Thought) I put it back into my purse and used my debit card instead. Then I left the store thinking, "I got all these good deals and I still have all my cash left." I went to another store that I knew would have the book that had started this whole expedition.

I got the book and went to check out at store #2. That's when I noticed. My change purse was missing. Gasp! I once again used my debit card because I now had no cash. And I high tailed it out to my car. I called store #1 on my cell phone in a panic. "I think I left my wallet at the check out, has anyone turned it in?" Their reply was No, no one had turned it in, but they'd take my name and number in case someone did. I raced back to the original store and retraced all of my steps. But alas, the change purse and all of the money inside was gone.

Now granted it didn't have much cash in it. Just over $30. But that was all the cash I had on hand. And, I had lost my wallet. I couldn't believe I had done something so stupid. And the only person I could blame was myself. That's what made it all the more frustrating for me. It was my own fault. I'm the one who didn't make sure that it landed back into my purse. And to add more insult to injury, I had just gotten that $30. I had purchased some scratch off lotto tickets and had won that $30. So, I ended up having that money for all of 15 minutes.

I keep telling myself that it's ok. It was only $30 and it could have been alot worse. I could have lost the wallet with my id, my purse with my id and the keys to my house, my phone, or my tom tom directionally gps. But it's still a huge feeling of loss. I woke up this morning to a HUGE rain/thunder storm and my first thought was "OH NO! There goes any hope of finding my wallet in the parking lot down the drain." Literally! It's going to be a long time before I'm able to forgive myself. I'm trying. But each time I look in my purse, go to pay for something, or see the items I got at that store I remember what happened. Ripping the scab off the open wound again and again.

So here's to a better day. And hoping that a miracle happens and someone finds and returns my wallet with the money still inside. Onwards and upwards as I always say. Here's a quote I found earlier this week. It's by Willaim James and strangely fits in this situation. “Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.” I'm gonna forgive myself my moment of stupidity. Pick myself (and my self confidence) up and dust myself off. Today is another day! Who knows I may have lost $30, but I'll win an even bigger amount with the next lotto tickets I buy. I'm only human and humans make mistakes.